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March 2010
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June 2010

hello? is this thing on?

Does anyone read this blog anymore? I guess I have not been very good at blogging lately. What's my excuse? It's been pretty busy in these parts lately. I am still a Nurse Manager. I have been contemplating what I have sacrificed in my life (creative and personal) to become a nurse leader. It's been pretty rough and I've had a few meltdowns. Lots of stress at work and no creative outlet. I miss scrapbooking and creating and participating in the scrapbook sites. I miss catching up on the newest scrappy trends and being part of such a wonderful community. Thank goodness for Facebook and Twitter. Otherwise, I would feel pretty isolated.

Truth is, I am selfish. I want it all. I was stagnant as a Charge Nurse and needed a change. I had been doing the job so long, it was no longer a challenge. When the Nurse Manager position came up, I thought about it long and hard and discussed it with my husband. I would work 5 days a week instead of 3 long nights and come home and still scrap. It's been 2.5 years and that has obviously not happened. I come home exhausted and wanting to only vegetate in front of the television. No energy or motivation to pick up paper and glue. Nothing to scrapbook. In wanting to advance my career, I sacrificed something I really truly loved- scrapbooking. Sounds strange to my non-scrappy friends, but all you scrappers know what I am talking about.

I don't utilize this blog as a venting tool anymore. For confidentiality's sake, I cannot blog about specific job duties or events. My life has been so much about work lately and I have a lot to say. I just can't publicly announce my feelings to the world. At least about work.

So. Maybe I need to make an effort to blog about other things. Like my crazy, brown family, my husband, my stepson. My family is as big and as nuts as ever. My nephew, Jared, is growing like a Sumo wrestler. My husband is as handsome as ever. My stepson almost failed Sunday School. Yep. Almost failed Sunday School. Who the hell does that? Well, the teenage boy who lives with us almost did. This is the year he was supposed to get confirmed as a Catholic. Confirmation is a big deal in our religion. He needed to attend 2 years of Confirmation classes and to complete 10 hours of community service. 10 hours. That's it. I did that in 2 weeks of extra-curricular activities in high school. He didn't feel like doing any of it. And we were not going to be forcing him to do anything. He needed to get the motivation on his own. He is almost 17 years old, after all. So we let him figure out what he needed to do to complete his hours in a few weeks. Otherwise, he was going to have to repeat this whole year. We didn't care if it was going to inconvenience us to have to take him every Sunday. Again. We were going to teach him a lesson. In the end, he finished his 10 hours of service. Grudgingly. Grrrr.

This teenage thing is harder than I thought. I always say it feels like I gave birth to a 14 year-old boy. He came to us at the age of 14 and it has been painful. Okay, it isn't torture all the time. But it is like pulling teeth to get him to think about something other than himself. My friends tell me this is normal. Is it normal to want to throttle him? Because I do. Most of the time. Especially when all he had to do to get confirmed is to sit through Sunday school, learn life lessons about God, and to have some motivation to complete community service. Is it a teenage thing? A boy thing? I don't ever remember doing that as a 16 year-old girl. Of course, I was a big nerd. Our child is too cool for school. Sigh. I guess I am a mother after all.

Leah  notecardsBesides wanting to kill my child, life has been good. Yes, my job is stressful, but I have one. I am trying to get some motivation to scrapbook today, but to no avail. I did complete note cards for my friend at work. This took me hours to complete. So simple, yet so difficult for me. What is wrong with me? I forgot to create. I hope it's not like riding a bike because I can't ride a bike. :P

Until next time...