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October 2008
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December 2008

she's not that little anymore.

My stepdaughter is growing up and my husband does not like it. Especially since she is so far away in another state. She's probably taller than me now. It's not such a feat since I am only 5 feet tall. She has outgrown my 6.5 size shoes and wears size 8 now. It's difficult to raise a child miles away but we manage to speak with her twice a week and instill some of our Catholic guilt in her. Ha! 

She no longer says, "hello" when answering the phone. She says, "Yo!" I don't think so, lady. I'll yo you and kick yo' ass while I'm at it. You should answer the phone as such: "Hello, my favorite stepmom in the whole world aka MC Steppie Step. What may I do for you?" Thank you.

She now shaves her legs. Good Lord, when do kids shave their legs nowadays? I didn't shave mine until I was a sophomore in high school. I wasn't allowed to and whatever my mom said goes. The end. I just told everyone I had a disease that gave me a darker tan to my lower extremities and suffered the consequences of peer pressure. Besides, she'll learn soon enough that women don't shave their legs in the wintertime. It's like my winter coat. I hope to goodness she hasn't thought about shaving anything else either.

For some reason, she has developed a sickness where she says things like "My boobs are huge!" She is obviously suffering from delusions of grandeur. We know this because her mom says her boobs are not THAT huge and that owning a padded bra makes them bigger than they actually are. In other words, she is making mountains out of mole hills. Ha!

She also can't wait to see Twilight. First of all, this is a PG-13 movie. You are eleven, going on twelve, not eleven going on 30. I don't care if your friend's mom is going to sneak you in. Second, you are not of age and it is against the law. Do you want to go to jail? They take little girls who sneak into movies into these cells with a toilet in the middle of the room. Do you want everyone to watch you pee? Third, eleven-year-olds should not be watching a teenage girl beg to be bitten by a vampire. Neck biting is something you do when you are an adult with an education and a job. In other words, you must be at least 35 years old. And then you substitute teenage girl with desperate housewife and vampire with Fabio

graduation day.

I did this page a while ago. Nothing spectacular. Just wanted to paste down these photos of my cousin's little girl when she graduated from Kindergarten. She thinks I work at my church because she sees me singing every week in the choir. She is shocked to find out I am a nurse.

Graduation Day

99 monkeys jumping on the bed.

Monkey Invite001 My brother decided to be reasonable and decided that we only needed 50 invitations so we ended up making them on Veteran's Day. I cut, folded, and embossed all the paper and even put together the monkeys. The rest was put together by the rest of our family. Tag team invitations are the way to go if you want to do them in bulk. Or you could just drown yourself in your toilet and call it a day.

my brother's big fat baby shower.

My brother and his new wife are having a baby shower. Yes, I realize they just got married. We already did the math. Anyway, they want 100 invitations for their monkey themed baby shower. What is this, their wedding all over again? All I know is I need help making 100 monkeys and that I am an idiot for agreeing. I should just accept that I am a glutton for punishment. I tried making their invitation using Mindy Terasawa's cute Digital Monkey Kit. I think that would be the wisest choice as far as time and funds are concerned. Here are the drafts:
Monkey003 Jared invite

What do you think?