It's been less than a week since I started Weight Watchers and so far, so good. Except I am hungry. All. The. Time. If I am hungry, I am cranky. If I am cranky, you better stay away because I will eat you. Of course, that would depend on how many points that would be on the Flex Plan. I can only eat someone like a 3 year old child to stay within my point range, ya know.
I guess I have to find other ways to distract and amuse me. Which brings me to something I will incorporate into my WW regime. I was watching Oprah the other day about this husband and wife who were on the brink of divorce because they were not having any sex. After 2 kids and busy careers, they were exhausted and were no longer connecting. Hmmm. These days I can relate. My hubby and I are busy and tired after we get home. If hubby is in the mood, I am already in bed and he is not in the habit of taking advantage of an unconscious woman. I think. If I am in the mood, I am at work and it is inappropriate to ask my husband to come and service me in the housekeeper's closet. Besides, that would just be gross. In other words, I have been thinking of things to make things more interesting. Too much information? Probably. But you are catching me at a cranky and sarcastic time. I guess that's what happens when I am not inhaling a box of chocolate. Starvation is like truth serum. Who knew?
In any case, I issued my husband a challenge based on the Oprah show. The wife decided that she and her husband were going to have sex every night for 1 week. Fireworks didn't happen every night. I'm sure they would have had to have just gone through the motions. But there was action every single night for 1 week. Could we do that? I mean, at this stage and time, I want to cuddle with my pillow for at least 8 hours. Forget having to think up some inconceivable role play in the bedroom. Honey, you be the doctor and I will be the nurse. (I know how to be a nurse. Just ask a rectal thermometer). The doctor suddenly has time between patients and has nothing to do. Oh, but the nurse is miraculously done with her charting and routine butt-wiping. Wait a minute. Is the doctor single and bored? Is the nurse wearing 3 inch heels and a stethescope? What else is there to do but get busy? How about patient care and more paperwork. How about cleaning up vomit and changing diapers? Don't these people have better time management? Don't they just want to go home and go to bed? See? I'm not really good at role play. In my real life, I want to kill the doctor for something he's done. And then eat him.
Again, I digress.
I dared my husband. Could we do what this husband and wife did on Oprah? Would I be able to stay awake long enough to enjoy it? Would we be able to reconnect after months of exhaustion? Don't get me wrong. I love my husband. But we are now very comfortable with each other. And the action has dissipated since we first got married. I still catch my breath when he comes into the room. He still makes my heart skip a beat (especially when he vacuums). It's finding time for each other that's not going so well. It doesn't help that a 14-year old boy is 2 doors down. I get a little performance anxiety. I can get...how should I say...expressive. And loud. I certainly don't want to traumatize him anymore than he already is. But there are sacrifices to be made for the sake of fornication. So here it is. For all the world to see. My daily exercise program is now incorporated into my WW plan.
I guess hubby is pretty lucky this week. I get hungry and he gets some nookie. I will keep you posted. :)