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March 2008
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May 2008

i've been given the thumbs up or was it another finger?

My Pilates instructor, aka Wendy, aka torture monger, had given me her blessing when walking this weekend. It wasn't approval for a leisurely stroll in the park. It was for the March of Dimes (MOD) walk this Saturday. Yes, it was for a good cause, but I could have just kicked her. She had introduced me to  cardio on the Pilates machine the day before the walk. Are you up for some cardio today? she says with a smile. It really was not a question. It was the illusion of making me a part of the decision to kick my own ass. I was sweating and panting and ready to curse the girl. My quads, my gluts, and my inner thighs were burning after the 45 minute workout. I suppose the good thing about the pain in my lower body is that I forgot about the pain in my back. She is a genius! The cure for back pain is to introduce pain on another body part. Why didn't I think of that? Of course, I was there to support MOD and my company but gearing up to get my ass kicked on purpose was not the most enjoyable. I am happy to say it was a beautiful day in Vegas, we raised a lot of money for the cause, and we all survived the walk. Sort of.


petrified butt part 2.

PilatesMy spine doctor has recommended Physical Therapy again. I have been reunited with Ed, aka Physical Therapist extraordinaire. My back has been feeling a little better but still sore and I have numbness in my right leg. Thank goodness I have not been doing any patient care. I would have probably been on the floor out of commission again for a month.  Ed did a whole body movement assessment on me and it turns out, SURPRISE, I don't have a core. I have not been using my abdominal muscles as I should. He also says that I can't bend backwards. No, shit. Like I've ever been able to bend backwards. Maybe he has me mixed up with someone else. Doesn't he remember saying I had a petrified butt once? How easily we forget! Does he think 4 weeks of PT will help me become a contortionist? Well, since my pain has been dramatically less than before, he has added on a new set of exercises--Pilates. I don't know much about Pilates except it looks scary as hell. The Pilates girl, Wendy, tortured me on the first day. I did lots of leg exercises, up and down, up and down, up and down. Put your legs over here, put your legs over there. My ankles, calves, thighs, and ass are burning right now from the workout. I will say that Wendy was very kind to me. She was very encouraging and understanding about the pain and my inability to lift my leg over my head. I think that after 4 weeks, I will learn to bend backwards and make my husband very, very happy. Wise as she was, she  said, "Girl, you are so tight." Um. How did she know that after weeks of back pain, I have become a virgin again?


cherish.

Cherish

I have lots of stamps and rubons that have one word titles like "Cherish," "Dream," "Heaven," and "Escape." After a while, those words don't seem to fit my life and make me want to hurl. My life is never that perfect. I need rubber stamps that say "Arthritis," "Astigmatism," "Stress," and "Constipation." I do have standards though. I hope to never use words  like "Premature" and "Ejaculation."


it's like riding a bike.

I think I forgot how to scrapbook. It might be like riding a bicycle except I don't know how to ride one. Ha!

Here's my little niece, Eva, on her first Easter.
Evas_first_easter500
Supplies:
Heidi Grace patterned cardstock
Plantin Schoolbook Cricut Cartridge
pink and brown cardstock unknown
Stampin' Up! Big Flowers stamp set
Stampin' Up! Pink Passion ink pad
Stampin' Up! Pixie Pink ink pad
Stampin' Up! Chocolate Chip ink pad
Stampin' Up! Real Red ink pad
Stampin' Up! punch
Doodlebug Design brown brads


stamp storage ideas.

I really want to erase the vision of the stripper in my mind. On to bigger and disease-free things! :)

More fun stuff! I am always looking for new storage ideas for my stamps since my stash keeps getting bigger and bigger. I might have to take over the living room soon. Just kidding, husband. :)

Stamps

1. Stamping, 2. Stampin up stamps and embelishments, 3. SU Rubber Stamp Display, 4. New Studio!, 5. CD's as storage, 6. Ikea storage, 7. Art Room: Old-27, 8. Little green colander, 9. 1.11.08, 10. Scraproom #6, 11. mom's craft space, 12. A house that houses some of my stamps, 13. Pink Paislee - CHA SHOW!, 14. words and small stamp storage, 15. Stamp Organization - Shelf full of stamps, 16. Rubber stamp set from 1932, 17. stamp holder, 18. My Stamp Display Shelves, 19. cramcream stamps holder, 20. Peek at the new studio, 21. magnetic!, 22. stamp storage, 23. red_lead stamp storage idea, 24. Stamp storage, 25. stamp storage Created with fd's Flickr Toys.


stripper advice.

My friend decided to give her husband a surprise party tonight and one of her gifts was to get him a stripper. I suppose this is something everyone wants at some point in their life. I thought that my hubby and I would get to the party late enough to miss the shenanigans but alas we came in at just the right time. Dammit. If you are a female stripper, please keep the following in mind (of course, these foolproof rules will work in any situation especially in the health care setting):

  1. Please take care not to park your big ol' honking truck behind people who are trying to make a quick getaway. It's so awkward to have to ask you to move it while you are gyrating on someone's crotch.
  2. Please protect the carpet and cloth furniture more effectively. One thin sheet cannot possibly keep your paraphernalia of oils, massage lotion, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce from soaking into the material. You will piss off the host and you will never be invited to another dinner party again.
  3. Please cut off the tag from your thong underwear. I don't care to know that the size is "teensy weensy."
  4. Please warn the guests that you will get naked. Guests will be staring with their mouths hanging open. Goodness knows I am no prude, but even I have never seen anything like this before. The stripper at my bachelorette party, aka Mr. Police Officer aka weren't-you-my-pediatric-patient-2-years-ago was rated PG compared to this winner.
  5. Please make sure you take off your ace wrap and splint off of your foot. It takes away from the overall effect when you place your feet behind your head. It's very jarring to have to stare at your pubic mound (thank you for keeping your underwear on, by the way) and then be blinded by an injured extremity.
  6. If you must offer tequila shots to the guest of honor, don't try to trick the guests by pretending not to know that whipped cream is not included in the mix. I'm not that stupid. Whipped cream should only be used for pies, Starbucks, and husbands.
  7. After taking off your thong, don't make a pretense of making a dollar bill a replacement for your underwear. I don't care that it is a learned skill to pick up paper money with your crotch. I suppose I should be grateful that you have left out quarters with this trick. This is why I never carry cash. Ew.

Thank you.