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January 2007
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March 2007

i am the shit.

Applying this positive outlook at work is proving more difficult than I thought. When I see that we are not staffed as well as we should be or when I am trying to transfer a child out to a psych facility or when I am cleaning up my 3rd poopy bed from an all-night bowel prep, aka the shit hit the fan and the floors and the commode and some of my scrubs. Ew. I'm trying hard to find the silver lining here. Well, here is the bright side: the patients are getting the best care we can give with what we have, the psych patient did not act out or become violent on our floor before he was transferred out, and the poop did not reach my glasses or my mouth. Ah, positive thinking. It's working already.

I guess my sarcasm will never go away.

being grateful.


How can I live the life I want? According to The Secret, I can do this by being THANKFUL for my life. Being grateful to God for all that I am blessed with, feeling the gratitude with sincerity and with an open heart. This positive outlook can only attract good things. So today. I started today taking a deep breath, stepping out of bed, and being thankful and joyful for my life for the little things. I cleaned my bedroom before I brushed my teeth and showered because I am grateful for my home, for the bed I sleep in, for the sheets that keep me warm. These little things add up to so many big things!

Is there something in your life that you want to change? What do you want out of life? Are you living the way you always wanted to live? What are you grateful for?

do you know the secret?

Secretbook_t Have you heard of The Secret? I first heard of this phenomenon from Oprah and it has blown my mind and changed my way of thinking. This is what triggered my drastic haircut. It's basically the Law of Attraction, the most powerful law of the universe. All the things in your life, good or bad, YOU have attracted them whether you know this or not. In other words, YOU create the circumstances in your life by your thoughts and feelings and choices. If you constantly think these negative ideas I'm fat; I'm ugly; I'm poor; My marriage stinks; I have no friends--then these thoughts become your reality because you have put out these cues to the universe. If your thoughts are joyful and grateful (I am happy; I am a beautiful person; I have something to offer the world; I love my job; I am in love with my husband) then these thoughts will also attract positive outcomes in your life. YOU can change your life by YOUR thoughts and feelings and actions. Once you discover and live by The Secret, you can find the love you want, land the job you want, create the life you want. YOU have the power to make that happen. 

Easier said than done, right? I understand this. My sarcastic and somewhat pessimistic and cynical nature revolts against this. I'm no Polyanna. I'm Margaret Cho. Can I change my life for the better by this principle? I hope so. I know so. I did not come upon this experience by coincidence. Things happen for a reason. I attracted this way of thinking into my life by watching Oprah. And I have since watched the DVD because a friend passed it onto me, not knowing I had been thinking about it nonstop since I first saw it on TV. Coincidence? I think not. I have come to a crossroads in my life. I have been looking for something to take me out of a depression of sorts. I needed to believe that there is a better life for me. That I deserved to be happy. That I deserved the desires of my heart. I want success in my life. I don't define this in just the monetary sense, I want physical health, spiritual well being, meaningful relationships, a baby, HAPPINESS. I picture these things in my mind. And they will come into fruition one day.

Ever since I have been diagnosed with PCOS, I have been enveloped by the thoughts of not ever having a baby of my own. I went through the whole gamut of blood work and ultrasounds and hormones and shots and my thoughts were negative and full of doubt. Getting pregnant was not in the cards for me, why bother going through this? After 2 months of hormones and Clomid, I had enough. I cried everyday. I attracted this misery by my negative thoughts. How could I get pregnant when I was so miserable about it? I never even thought about positive outcomes. Coincidence? I think not.

I do not want this ever again. I will not allow myself to feel this way anymore. I will picture myself with a baby. I will work on my positive thinking. I have the power to change my outcome. Silly and foolish on my part? Maybe for others. But for me, The Secret makes sense. I understand that the vibes I was putting out did not attract the outcome I wanted for myself.

Another instance. Part of my job as a charge nurse is staffing, making sure that the next shift is well staffed. On paper, it did not look good. This Friday at work, I started the night by thinking about what I was grateful for. Instead of the usual dread of knowing we were understaffed and overworked, I counted all the blessings of my job. I have ONE, I have coworkers that I love, patients that reward me. By the end of the night, I had found 2 extra nurses to unburden the load for the upcoming shift. In my world, this rarely happens and I was floored by how that happened. Coincidence? I think not.

This I know is true, I had once wished for love, prayed for it, pictured it in my mind, how I would feel when it happened.  At this point in my life, I was getting discouraged, unlucky in love. Then my family moved into a new neighborhood. We found a new church. It was not the closest church. My family was just trying out ones we might like. I looked for a new choir to join. I found the choir that my husband had been a part of since he was 9 years old. He was a drummer. I found love like the kind I once wished for, prayed for, deserved. My husband and I got married in that church and we are still part of the same choir today. Coincidence? I think not.

Recently, I have come to this life changing realization. All things negative and positive that have been happening in my life are not coincidences. They are just a manifestation of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I made these things happen to me. I have control of my circumstances and life and so do YOU!

Do you have any Secret stories? Have you been touched by this DVD? I would love to hear your experiences!

busy preparing.

The kids are coming next week and we are busy preparing for their arrival. We are doing a little spring cleaning in the process, cleaning toilets, sprucing up the place, putting away the Valentine's decorations. I have not had any time to scrap or make any cards but I will make it a point to create tomorrow. I missed blogging and catching up with online communities, but it's nice to just put the internet away and just live life without worrying about anything else. I'm sure I will get back into the groove of things and start running my mouth some more. Too bad for you! :)

preliminary baby shower card.

Baby_shower_card_1 Made this invite for my cousin's baby shower. It's not finalized yet, since I'm still working on some other ones. She is having a boy, hence the blue background.

brown cardstock unknown,
light blue cardstock unknown,
cream cardstock unknown,
Cuttlebug swirls embossing folder,
Offray ribbon,
staples, Cricut New Arrival cartridge

someone help her.

I am not the biggest fan of Britney. I have been curious and fascinated with her ever since she has been in the public eye. And now my mouth is agape with awe with how her life has turned out. Her marriage to K-Fed, her parenting foibles, her divorce from Fed-Ex, partying with Paris Hilton, a brief 24 hour stint in rehab--what a sad, sad life. And now this. It's obvious that she needs professional help and I truly feel bad for her. Someone needs to take this girl over their knee and spank her straight. Wait. She might like that. Seriously, she needs professional guidance and counseling. Any advice for this poor soul?

happy valentine's day.


Jeff and I celebrated heart day last night instead of today because I have to work the next 3 nights. Instead of the usual dinner out, we decided to stay in and have our celebration at home. We made steak, mashed potatoes, salad, chocolate covered strawberries. I put out the red tablecloth, the red roses, Hershey kisses, and candles! I have to say that we might be doing this at home more often. It's nice to go out but last night was a focus on our relationship, our commitment to each other, and our love for one another. It was one of the most meaningful days we've had in a while, and I'm not talking about the action afterwards, either. Kidding. Ha!

Hope your Valentine's Day is full of love and sex! Both so good for the soul :)